SO NEAR / SO FAR

                                 HIDEOUT


clinging to the underside of a leaf    fragile wings
folded    as raindrops strike its surface    my soul
lies low in the magical darkness     far removed
from timetables   deadlines   checklists   agendas

if there's some secret passage to another world
it's this    where time dissolves into timelessness
here every splash of rain is rare    strange    new
listen    our sentient planet's murmuring to itself

have you a safe refuge for the absconding soul
a holy place beyond the clutch of life or death?
without one we drown in obsession and illusion
go now    take flight    your hideout's in Eternity!


                                        ***

     Any moment we can Wake Up and tune in to the Divine and Miraculous which is always here, all around us, hidden in plain sight. But most of the time we're asleep--too caught up in brooding over the past; too distracted by the present, or too anxious about the future. A couple of Wake-Up catalysts for me have always been trees and rain. In this poem they come together, and the epiphany is magic!

                 TOUGH LOVE

intimate    elemental    a cold wind

stalks outside    agitating branches

just beyond my flimsy windowpane

winter's coming it warns    and one

will break you    will be your last

of those close companions I trust

it's the wind that pulls no punches

unsentimental    straight to the bone

tough love    taking my breath away!

but hugs and kisses don't always work

strange    to feel comforted by chaos--

the sky's slap!  emptiness with attitude!

a rough bodyguard named The Universe

some night I'll plunge into its gusty void

and keep going--star after star after star...

                              ***

     This poem can be considered the macrocosmic Yang to the previous poems microcosmic Yin--with wind the elemental agent, rather than rain. As "Hideout" expresses how the Eternal is secretly present in the smallest discoveries all around us ("To see a world in a grain of sand..." -- William Blake), so "Tough Love" evokes the Awful Sublime of the Infinite, that undiscovered country on the other side of death.  

GLEAMS OF DIVINITY

THE PHIAL OF GALADRIEL

"May it be a light to you in dark places,

when all other lights go out."

we see merely a fleeting refraction of that Light

glowing sometimes in the eyes of lover or friend

or glistening briefly at dawn just before the sun

edges its fiery rim slowly above the horizon

or lacing the deepening shadows of dusk

as those brightest first stars begin to shine

I've heard rumors of that Light now and then

a refrain sung so piercingly sweet   so aching pure

my heart could no longer fit inside my chest

but broke free   opening out like a radiant blossom

expanding till it encompassed both earth and sky!

yet no such image can possibly contain it

my mind strains mightily but can't find words

for this Reality reaching forever beyond words

a Beacon that's guided me through living hell

inspiring hope when every hope was blasted away

infusing courage though I stood paralyzed with fear

a dazzling shaft of Eternity bursting into time!

found and lost   found and lost   found again!

the greatest wisdom isn't gleaned from any teacher

it's only learned through being--all other knowing

trumped by our soul's transcendent revelation!

everyone's a sacred vessel--a Phial of Galadriel

the Light that saves us    is the Light we are

***

     "The Phial of Galadriel" is, of course, from J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord Of The Rings. It's the sacred gift Galadriel, Queen of the Elves, gives to Frodo when he and the other eight members of the Fellowship journey through Lothlorien on their way to Mordor. Frodo later fends of Shelob, the horrible giant spider (for a time) with The Phial. It seemed to me Galadriel's Phial could be used as a symbol for the Divine Light of our own souls, and that's how I deployed it in this poem.

          SWEET CLOVER

I'm back inside the fold today

munching sweet clover again

grass of blissful coming home

yesterday I thrashed about

oozing self-pity and bitterness

turning away   blaming God

Divine Light won't gutter out

Grace cascades unquenchable

yet I felt splintery   bereft

how could it go otherwise?

how could I be safe or whole

estranged from my inmost Self?

today though I scoured my soul

tearing down its rigid walls

flinging wide the brittle gates

my stubborn ego caved to One

Who envelops like atmosphere!

I breathed in   opened   bowed

now I munch the sweetest grass

holy sustenance grown for me

clover of blissful coming Home

                        ***

     The gleam of Divinity is always there, at the core of my being. But I have a thousand ways of blinding myself, alienating myself from my Eternal Source--self-pity, bitterness, fear, rage, etc. That's what I know about hell. Yet I'm never "damned" unless I choose to be. And when I finally choose not to be "estranged from my inmost Self", then I find I'm back inside the fold again, munching that sweetest grass--"clover of blissful coming Home."

VISIONS OF LIGHT

                 ISN'T THIS THE TIME
                 (for Charles Stonewall)


isn't this the time--right now!--when you
can no longer keep yourself from dancing
since every molecule's bursting with soul?

isn't this the time--right now!--when bliss
breaks out all over     and the nightmares
snaring you release their strangling clutch?

you leap up suddenly     both arms raised
splayed hands harvesting fistfuls of Light
thrum!  go your bones--they will not stop!

isn't this the time--right now!--the waking
when doubt disappears     when the faces
of flowers beam     swiveling to greet you?

O this is the time--right now!--that heaven
ignites a vision in your eyes    and you see
through every guise   the exaltation of love


                                  ***

                               Handfuls of Light

     Virtually all my drawings either inspire a poem or, as here, are inspired by one. In this way, two sides of my creative spirit--apparently the masculine and feminine--come together and dance as one.  Expressed through companion pieces, each then helps to illuminate the other, evoking together a larger visionary synthesis.

The City At Dusk

             THE CITY AT DUSK

visible from space    the city at dusk

scintillates    a capsized constellation

or it may be the galactic mother ship

arriving in splendor to gather us home

drugs    knifings    drive-by shootings

still plague    devour    but camouflaged

with enough distance even the worst

goes veiled in the bedazzle of miracle!

stark silhouettes braille against the sky

set aflame by sunset's guttering glow--

bare trees    the crisscrossed branches

stitching together twin firmaments

glyphs that spell  "as above so below"

arteries binding the city to the stars

                              ***

    In this instance, the drawing inspired the poem. There's a paradox here. So much crime and violence go down in our cities every day. Yet viewed from a distance, in the softening, luminous light of dusk, the city appears magical! I allude to both realities in my poem. But the drawing especially evokes the magical dimension. Here's an example of how companion pieces--poem and drawing--together can express a greater richness of meaning and experience.

River Of Love

     
                    DICED VEGGIES


like a finely calibrated antenna attuned
to a single exquisite frequency I receive
the most delicate nuances of your soul

even those tiny bright earrings you wear
glitter in my thoughts--scintillant as stars
while the silver polish coating your nails

matches precisely my raptest admiration
you express more shades between white
and black than Eskimos perceive in snow

this world spreads many gaudy banquets
cakes gussied up to deceive blinded eyes
and ensnare groping hearts     no matter

I'd rather taste your artfully diced veggies
--bits of love you prepare so impeccably--
than gorge myself on that feast for fools


                                 ***

      

      In matters of love, often less is more--at least that's the way I experience it. In style, I'm attracted to subtlety, nuance, refinement, originality, understatement, elegance, the minimally indispensable. Such qualities engage both my senses and my soul. When sufficient time and space leaven a relationship, enough room is left to savor what's unique and beautiful.

    RUSHING RIVER

did you ever wonder

why love can be so blind

such a hit-or-miss type thing?

Jack's pining away for Jill

too bad--Jill yearns for Jane

while Jane worships Joe!

and how forlorn a dog acts

abandoned by its human

it will never find a home

sometimes a rushing river

bursts upon us--but we're

too flimsy to contain it

we can't control when

it overwhelms our banks

or predict where it will flow

if even the tiniest runnel

of Love's elemental torrent

cascades through our heart

we've got all we can handle

keeping our head above water

just snatching a breath or two

                      ***

      I've been swept along, swept away, by Love's "rushing river"; and even though I wound up bruised and gasping on the rocks, I realize, for a time, I was flooded by a God. Anyone who's felt this irresistible power of Eros pouring through them toward another, knows what I mean. We only can say "yes" or "no" to election by the God. And if we say "yes", then love's river possesses our hearts. Wherever it takes us, for better or worse, there we must go...

       

Declaring Love

                 
                    DECLARATION


we don't need them around anymore

the logic choppers    the bean counters
and hairsplitters    the control freaks who
snuff out our joy and pin dead butterflies
to the rigid straitjackets of their pride

we can't permit them access anymore

those traffickers in still-beating hearts
the users and takers who worship nothing
except their own insatiable appetites

it's time to throw off that brainwashing!

I've rediscovered a Universal Grammar
and the only pronoun it recognizes is "we"

there's a Holy Light irradiating everything
It can never be bought    sold    possessed

so we won't listen to the frauds anymore

the hawkers of glitzy trinkets and gewgaws
the pushers of money and power and fame

now that I've seen the real Treasure blazing
those counterfeit glories are worthless to me


                                    ***

  Where's the real Treasure? Our materialistic culture screams every day that it's in "money and power and fame." But this is a destructive, consuming lie. Once we've seen, experienced "a Holy Light irradiating everything" we realize that the Divine Source, the Pearl Beyond Price, is always present and available within us, and shining forth as well all around us. There's an open, empty, waiting place inside which can only be filled by God.

                               HYMN TO GAIA

                             (for Rob Amerine)

I hear your voice this morning    so quiet and small

whispering through the tiny clusters of white buds

on the asparagus fern    their delicate almond scent

of course it's just one of your numberless languages

another roared in that F-5 tornado! yes-devastation

is also you speaking    yet you sing to us in birdcalls

how many nights I listen while you kiss the leaves

with rain    how many days your winds compel me

you go your own deep ways    destroying    creating

Earth Mother    not a single instant rocks my world

when every naked atom isn't thrumming with you

I'm your flesh your blood your creature your child!

teach is to dwell here always in a sacred manner

to understand even a pebble is imbued with soul

teach us to realize--each breath we take is a prayer

I suffer from a primal wound that will never close

unless I align my whole self harmoniously with you

I hunger for justice transcending the ego's appetite

in the still small voice of fragrant buds blossoming

I come home to you    receive the balm of your love

nothing less than our total union will heal me now

                                          ***

     As a species, we're lurching headlong down an unsustainable path, and climate change is just one of the many warning sirens blaring in our ears. Ultimately, our only hope to change this, is to transform our consciousness; to return once more to spiritual balance, to sacred communion with all life and with the living Earth herself.